LONG SONg

Traped in the Closet is a long addicting stupid song.

I'll try to find the lyrics and post them here in this thread when I find them.


PART 1...

Seven o’clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I’m stretchin’ and yawnin’
In a bed that don’t belong to me
And a voice yells, “Good morning, darlin”, from the bathroom
Then she comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, she ain’t you

Now I’ve got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?
Must of lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to her home
Didn’t plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin’ to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin’ to get on up out the door
Then she streched her hands in front of it
Said, “You can’t go this way”
Looked at her, like she was crazy
Said, “Woman move out my way”
Said, “I got a wife at home”
She said, “Please don’t go out there”
“Lady, I’ve got to get home”
She said, her husband was comin’ up the stairs

“Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet”
She said, “Don’t you make a sound
Or some shit is going down”
I said, “Why don’t I just go out the window?”
“Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor”
“Think, think, quick, put me in the closet”
And now I’m in this darkest closet, tryin’ to figure out
Just how I’m gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, “I’m home”
She says, “Honey, I’m in the room”
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin’, “Honey, I’ve been missin’ you”
She hops all over him
And says, “I’ve cooked and ran your bath water”
I’m tellin’ you now, this girl’s so good that she deserves an Oscar

Rolls her in the bed
And start to snatchin’ her clothes off
I’m in the closet, like man, what the fudge is going on?
You’re not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, “There’s a mystery going on
And I’m gonna solve it”
And I’m like, “God please, don’t let this man open this closet”

He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
She says, “Baby, come back to bed”
He says, “Say no more”
He pulls back the shower curtain
While she’s biting her nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I’m sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
He looks at the closet
I pull out my Baretta
He walks up to the closet
He comes up to the closet
Now he’s at the closet
Now he’s opening the closet…

Part 2

Well...
Now he's staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
She yells honey let me explain
He says you don't have to go no further
I can clearly see what's goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home
Then I said wait a minute now hold on
I said mister we can work this out
She said honey don't lose control
Tried to get him to calm down
He said ho I should've known
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt
I said we need to resolve this
Then he stepped to me, I'm like whoa
There's a reason I'm in this closet
He says, yeah like what, are you talkin clothes
I met this girl at the ?? club
And she told me she didn't have a man
Then he said man please,
I'd kill you if you didn't have that gun in ya hand
And I said but yo chick chose me
He said don't give me that mack shit please
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says I'm not the one you after
He says somethin I bet you didn't know my man
Did she tell you that I was a pastor
I said well good that's betta right
Why can't we handle this Christian- like
And I started to put the gun down
Til I saw his face still had a frown
She started cryin, sayin baby I'm sorry
Then he said baby not as sorry as you're gonna be
I started inchin out
He says no I want you to see this
Said I gotta get out this house
He said not til I reveal my secret
I'm like what is goin on inside his head
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
Hello, Baby, turn the car around
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now (Click)
He looks at me and says well since we're all comin out the closet
I'm not about to be the only one that's broken hearted
She said what do you mean
And he said just wait and see
I said somebody betta talk to me
And then his phone rang
He picks up and somebody says sweetheart I'm downstairs
And he's like I'll buzz you up
I'm on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs
And I'm like who is this mystery lady that you're talking to
He says in time you both will know the shockin truth
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time
Then I said now Imma shoot you both if you don't say what's on ya mind
He said wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs
And I'm lookin on the door
He says I think you betta sit down in the chair
I says I'm gonna count to four
1, he says mister wait
2, she says please don't shoot
3, he says don't shoot me
4, she screams
Then a knock at the door, the guns in my hands
He opens the door, I can't believe it's a man

PART 3

Here we are. The four of us...
In total shock... Me and her.
I closed my mouth and swallowed spit,
And I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit!"
And I said "So you're gonna tell me he's the one he's been talking to?"
He says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "Yes", I say, "No", he says, "It's the truth!"

I said, "All of ya'll ass is crazy, let me up out this door,
Because this is way more than I bargained for"
She says, "Wait, I'm sure we can all fix this"
Then I said, "I'm late, plus I ain't gotta damn thing to do with this!"
But then she said, "Wouldn't you just like to know how it all began?"
Then I thought to myself, and said, 'Quick, you got three minutes'
Then it got real quiet, I said, "Somebody start talking"

She said, "My God, Rufus! I've got just one question,
how could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"
He looked at her and said, "Bitch please, you've got your nerves
With all your club hoppin', lyin' when you said you was shoppin'.
And now here you are in our home, and you're callin' me wrong."

"Okay you busted me! And that much I agree, you caught me cheatinggg!
But this is a little extreme!"

He said, "You are my wife sleeping behind my back.
And now I come home and you got him in the closet, how extreme is that?!"
And she said, "But she's a he!"
And he said, "Please, you can't judge me"
She said, "But this is crazy!"
And I said, "Stop arguing!
I did not stay here to hear you chew each other out,
So get to the point, or I swear I'm out!"

"Excuse me, please, but I think I can explain what's going on in here.
My name is Chuck and I been knowing Rufus about a year,
At midnight creeping around there not staying around to standing living in hell, sleepin in and out of hotels..."
I said, "Brother, spare the details!"
Then Rufus said, "Chuck, please! Don't say nothing else!"
Then she screams, "Rufus you son of a female dog,"
He says, "Cathy, go to hell!"
I said, "I thought you said your name was Mary, that what you said at the party.
Man this is gettin scary imma shoot somebody!"
Then Rufus start yelling and screaming saying, "Cathy, this is all your fault!"
She throws a pillow at him and says, "You were creeping too, the only difference is you didn't get caught!"
Chuck screamed out, "We're in love!"
Cathy says, "Love my ass!"
Rufus said thei're getting married then I shoot one in the air!

I said, "Not annother one of you sons of bitches say a word!
Cuz all this shit I'm goin thru is unheard!"
I grabbed my cellular
I said, "This is so wrong,"
I call up my home,
And a man picks up the phone phone phone phone.....[/i][/b]

PART 4

Now I'm dashing home, doing 85
Swerving lane to lane, with fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts going through my mind
I'm thinkin' about how I'm gonna do it and whom I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind?

And then I look in my rear view, I cannot believe this
Woo! Woo! Woo! Damn! Here comes a policeman
He drove right up on me then flashed his lights and I pulled over
Without thinkin' twice, he hops out the car and walks over to me
And says, "License and registration please."

I looked up at him and said, "Officer is there something wrong?"
He said, "No, except youw as doing 85 in a 60 mile zone"
And then I said, "Officer, let me explain please,
You see the truth of the matter is, is that I got an emergency!"

He said "No excuses, and no exceptions"
I said "This is some bullshit!" as he gave me the ticket
Said "Have a nice day" and walked away, I said "Yeah, right" and drove away
And then I turned my radio on, and did 70 on the way home

I pulled up in the driveway, hopped out and slammed the car door,
Then go around the back, bust up in the house, and she's screamin', "What's all that for?"
And then I'm like, "Woman, I called this house and a man picked up my phone!"
She says, "Calm down, did you forget my brother Tiron came home?"

"Oh..."

And that's all I could say was "Oh" with a stupid look on my face,
Said, "I forgot he came home today."
And she says, "That's okay, because honey I understand."
She says, "You don't have to explain," then I took her by the hand

I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on, apologize one more time, then went down and start gettin' it on
She started bitin' her lips, grabbin' me and makin' noise
Now we're makin' love and she's in my ear whisperin', "It's all yours."

I said, "I love you" she said, "I love you too,"
Then a tear fell up out my eye, then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me, and said, "Baby go deeper please!"
That's when I started goin' crazy like I was tryin' to give her a baby!

The room feel like it's spinnin'
Cuz we keep turnin' and turnin'
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin'

The next thing you know she started goin' real wild and screamin' my name,
And then I said, "Baby we must slow down, before I bust the cells up in my brain!"
She said, "Please don't don't stop!" I said, "I caught a cramp!"
She said, "Please keep on goin'!" I said, "My leg is about to crack!"

Then she cries out, "Oh my goodness I'm about to climax!"
And I say, "Cool, climax and just let go of my leg!"
She says, "You're the perfect lover!" I said, "I can't go no farther!"
Then I flip back the cover, OH MY GOD A RUBBER!

PART 5

Well, Well, Well
What the fudge is this?
A condom in my bed
You better start talkin female dog
Before I take a match and burn this mother fucker down
I said "You better start talkin and start talkin right god damn now"
Then she said "My baby I'm so speechless
Then I said "My baby you gon be breathless"
"If you don't start talkin quick!"
"Woman I'm gon have a fit!"
"You don't know what you fuckin with"
"Girl you better cut the bull shit!"
Now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home, in my bed
Plus I smell cigarettes
Now I'm sniffin and lookin around, I'm suspicious like someone's here
Then I look in her eyes and in her eyes was so much fear
Pull out my gun and said is he still here
She shook her head and said "No"
I'm checkin behind every door
She cried out "He left right after you called
I said "What the fudge was you thinkin; you thought that I wouldn't find this out"
Then I said "You must be crazy, you on crack to have someone all up in my mother fuckin house"
She hopped up and said "That's enough"
She said "I can't take no more"
And the she said "You made your point, but now its time to even the score"
She said "I know all about last night"
"And where you went when you left the club"
She said "That's right nigga I was there with this guy in the back of the club"
I said "I thought you was with your girls"
She said "I thought you was with your guys"
She said "You was at that bitches house and don't you even try to act surprised"
I said "babe..."
She said "Shut up...don't you say a word"
"There aint nothing you can say that I aint already heard"
Then I said "Woman don't you try to turn it all around"
"Cuz the fact still remains that someone else was in my house"
Then she said "Your right about that, something did go down,
but I don't have to turn it around, cuz what goes around comes back around"
I'm movin a little closer to her
She's trippin over the furniture
She said "Wait first just let me explain"
I said "No need to just give me his name"
And the she says "Ahh...Ahh"
I say "Ahh what?"
She says "Please sit down in the chair"
And I say "No I'm standing up"
And then she cries out "I'm so scared to tell you, because of what you might do"
And I scream "Look girl you better give me this mans name and I'm not playin with you!"
She says "OK"
Wipes her nose and asks me about a girl name Tina
I thought to myself, said "Its sounds familiar"
Then said "I'll probably know her if I seen her"
Then I said "Anyway girl what the hell does that got to do with this man!?"
She said "He know my girl Roxanne"
I said "Who the hell is Roxanne!?"
Then she said "Roxanne is a friend of mine who know this guy named Chuck"
"Chucks cool with this guy named Rufus"
And I'm sitting there like what the fudge
Then she says "Rufus wife Cathy, we both went to high school"
"She introduce me to"
"The policeman that stopped you"

Part 6

Believe it or not I just started laughin'
Shakin' my head and just kept on laughin'
Thinkin' about all the things I had been through that day
Then she cries "what? Why do you have that smile upon your face?"
Then I laughed out, said "thinkin' about all of the things that I've been through"
She whipes her nose then she sniggles and laughs out "I've been through it too"
Then I start laughin' again and she start laughin' more
Next thing you know we both are crackin' up on the floor
Then she laughs out "I can't believe this idiot really answered my phone!"
Now meanwhile 'Toine just got out of prison and he's on his way home
Then she yells "baby I'm sorry for all the lies and all the bullshit"
Then I said "girl just wait 'til I tell you all the drama that I've been dealin' with
She laughs "I wanna hear it all"
Then I laughed and said "baby first of all
I got a hang over, been trapped in the closet
Slept with who knows, threatened to kill a pastor"
She says "what?!?"
"Baby this is no lie he had a lover, turns out to be a gay guy"
She says "damn, you've been through a lot of shit"
"Plus I got a ticket!"
Meanwhile the policeman, he turns around
Just out of concern, comes back to the house
Then he pulls up in the driveway
My car's parked crooked with the lights on
Then he goes around the back way
He heard the dogs barkin' like something's wrong
He gets to the back door and discovers it's been broken in
He looks around, pulls his gun out, then proceeds in
Meanwhile we're laughin' and laughin' and laughin'
But from his perspective he thinks somebody's cryin'
He gets closer to the bedroom and he would swear that somebody was coughin' and sighin'
Meanwhile we're in the bedroom laughin' as I tryin' to continue to explain
She yells out "Sylvester you're killin' me!"
I said "I swear that it went that way!"
Then next thing you know he bust up in the room
And said "motherfucker, freeze"
And I looked up back at him and said "wait - you're that damn police"
Then she screamed "baby, I mean James" she says "everything is cool"
And then he yells "Gwendolyn I got this, I know you're sick and tired of this fool"
And then I stood up, start walkin' towards him screamin' "man get out my house!"
Then he yelled "freeze!" She screamed "please!" I pulled my beretta out
She cried out "Sylvester, please don't"
Visions of him making love to her
He said "man, put the gun on the floor"
I can't stop thinking about him and her
I slowly put the gun down
And then I put my hands up
He winked at me and smiled
And that is when I went nuts
Hopped all over him, grabbed the gun, she's screamin' "settle down"
Goin' all around the room, both hands on the gun
Then all of a sudden "pow"...

PART 7


There's total silence, blood everywhere
And confusion on their faces as they continue to stare
Then Gwen starts shakin' and cryin' screamin' "What did you do?"
And then the policeman looks at me and screams "See, now I warned you."
Then he starts pacing the floor screamin' "God, what have we done here?!"
And she rushed to to door, blood on her hands screamin' "There goes your whole career."
Meanwhile, I'm freakin' out sayin' "We gotta do somethin' and gotta do somethin' quick."
Then he picks up the gun and says "I have a wife at home, I can't have no cause of this."
She says "James, I can't believe you just said what you said.
Cause that's not what you said when your ass was in my bed."
Then I said "Gettin' married later, but right now we gotta use our heads. First of all, did anybody check if the man was alive or dead."
Then he looks at her, she looks at me, I look at them and we look at him.
Meanwhile, Gwen's about to have a nervous breakdown the way she's shakin' and cryin'
And then she screams "You bastards! You've killed my brother."
And then I said "Gwen, wait a minute, I didnt..."
She says "No, you killed my brother."
She said "He just got out of prison. He's been through a lot. He was talking about changin' his life and everything and to come home and get shot
Then I said "Baby, it wasn't my fault. This man had a gun on me.
And besides, how was I to know that you was getting down with this crooked ass police."
And he says "Wait a minute..." I say "No, you wait a minute!"
And then I say "Man, this is my wife. We had a life until you butted up in it."
She cried out "Sylvester, now hold on. Even though he was in our home, let's not forget the fact that you was out there creepin' in another man's home."
*Cough cough* *cough cough*
Twan starts coughin'. *cough cough*
She says "Twan! Oh my god! Baby brother, are you okay ?"
He looks up at her and says "I'm not gonna die, at least not today."
And then he asks what happened and says "Why did I get shot?
Sylvester what is this policeman doin' here ?"
And I said "Go on, tell him cop."
He says "Son, we gotta get you to a hospital and take a look at that wound."
Twan says "No, I'm okay. It's just my shoulder. All I need is a bathroom."
Now five minutes has gone by and they tellin' Twan everything that happened
Twan says "Fuck man, I would've been better off in prison."
And now somebody's banging at the door and I'm like "Oh no! Here we go again!"
Thinkin' out loud to myself sayin' "When is this shit gonna end ?!"
Then Gwendolyn looks at me and says "Baby, you got that?" And I say "NO!"
She says "Why?" And i said "Because I'm not openin' up another motherfuckin' door!"
And the cop says "Gwen, I'll get it." Then looks at me and says "Man of the house, my ass!"
Then I say "I'll get it, but whoever it is, I'm about to put their ass on blast!"
And then, the policeman grabbed me. I snatched away and got my gun up off the floor
Then Twan says "Man, that's what I'm talkin' about! Sylvester, point that shit toward the door! "
Then he snatches the policeman's gun and says "Officer, arrest me later."
I count to three, Twan opened the door and it's Rose the nosy neighbor...
Ooh, with a spatula in her hand
Like that's gon do something against them guns
It's Rosy the nosy...whoa
Neighbor....

Part 8

The policeman gets in his car
And gets right on the phone
Backing up, shaking his head saying
"Let me get my crazy ass home"
And his wife picks up and says
"Darlin' where have you been,
i've been worried about you"
And he says "Police business, honey, I can't wait
to tell you what I've been going through"
She says "Are you okay?" "Yes"
"Do you need anything?" "No"
"Well, I baked you a pie" "Mmm"
"Your favorite: Cherry"
Then he said "I'll be there soon.
Sorry I kept you hanging"
Then she said, "Honey, don't worry about it
Just take your time, I still got some cleanin'"
Now meanwhile Misses Roseys back at Gwen's house
Tellin it all
She said "I knew there was something about that policeman
I started to cut lose my dog"
Gwendolyn looks at her and laughs and says
"Miss Rosey you are nuts"
And i say "all I wanted to know
was what was you gonna do with that spatula"
And then we all laughed
Tron says "shes a G no doubt"
Now lets head right back on over
To the policeman's house
He pulls up in the garage
She doesn't expect for him to come that soon
She rushed to the door
kisses him on the cheek and says "I was in the restroom"
Then he said "Whatcha say that for?"
And then she says "I don't know"
Then he step back, look at her and says
"Whatcha all jittery for?"
Then she says "Sweetheart, maybe it's that time of the month"
Then he says "Maybe? Maybe that time of the month?"
And then shes says "You know what I mean"
He says "I know what came out yo mouth"
He said that "you said maybe
Then she says baby," he walks in the house
She tries to lead him upstairs
But he goes straight to the kitchen
She says "Hun, I bought you some pears"
And then he said "I'ma heat this chicken"
Then she turns around thinking to herself
With this weird look on her face
Then he screams "Woman, what wrong witchu,
why are you walking back and forth, pacing?"
Before she answers she's thinkin' to herself
"What am I to say?"
Because the truth of the matter is
that she just slept with another man today
And he started calling her name
"Bridget, I know you her me"
But she can't turn around
Because the truth on her face
He will see it
Then he screams "Bridget"
"Yes""Look at me"
Bridget turns around and then he says
"Whatcha got up your sleeve?"
She's scared out of her mind
Stuttering and shaking and
still talking about some pears
He starts screaming saying
"Woman Im not going up no stairs"
Now he's got a funny feeling
Something just don't seem right
He's looking at her while she's backing up
Then he says "With all my might,
Woman, I swear I'll shoot somebody
if you been doing wrong"
But little does he know
somebody is still right there in his home

Part 9

He looks around the kitchen, and says 'something is really weird',
She says 'why do you say that?' He says 'cos you keep tryin' to get me outta here',
He says 'ever since I been in this house your face has went from white to red
and remember when I first walked through the door you acted like you had seen a ghost from the dead'

Then he says 'girl if you hidin' something i'm gonna be so mad', then he hears
something fallin he says ' what the fudge was that?'
She says ' it sound like it came from upstairs, sounds like the plumbing',
He said 'woman that sound did not come from upstairs, I'll be damned if you're not up to something,

The sound that i just heard, it came from this kitchen, and then he looks over by the stove
while shes easin' over by the dishes. and then he walks over to the refridgerator and pushes it back,
and then he looks in her face, looks like shes about to have a heart-attack, then he notices the pie on the counter
One slice is missing, now the stories gettin' scary, cos he comes to realise that Bridget is allergic to cherry.

Then he slowly looks up at her and now her face is red as hell, he's breathing real hard,
movin' closer, she says 'hon you don't look so well'
And then he says move
She says no
He says move
She says no
female dog MOVE!!! she moves, and then, he looks at the cabinet,
he walks to the cabinet, he's close to the cabinet, now he's opening the cabinet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his cabinet, but the man... is a MIDGET!

PART TEN

Now the midget jumps outta the cabinet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on 1 leg screamin "son of bitch" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin
real fast screamin out bridget,bridget ,
"She yells darlin don't hurt em'"
He says bridget get yo' ass back...then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack...
Then bridget runs up to her room, goes in her purse and pulls a number out...
The police puts him on the table and yells "Man, what the hell you doin' in my house?!"
He whips cherry pie crust off his mouth and says man, i was paid not to tell you
Then the police pulls his gun out and yells trespassin man I got the right to shoot you..
The midget says mr. the man that pay me to this would kill me if i tell
He points the gun in his face, the midget say ''god i think i just shited on myself''
Now at Sylvester's house Twon gotta patch on his shoulder playin cards gettin alone
There laughing and talking when Sylvester says Gwendolyn, baby, get the phone
Then she walks away from the table picks it up and say "hello" there's a lady on the other line panic-n-
cryin and talkin all offf the wall,
Gwen says wait slow down, who am i talkin tooo
"My names bridget and i found your number in my husband's pocket, I had to call you"
2mins later Gwen shakin her head sayin girl i understand, Sylvester says who is it baby?
She hangs up and gives him the address,
Now meanwhile back at the policemen house the midget cryin his ass off while he lyin threw his teeth bout
to get lil ass told off,
Then bridget bust in the kitchen with a double barrow sayin "james i can't let you do this"
Then he looks at her and says what? you shoot me for this
fuckin midget she says "I love him"

Now bridget and james stairin each other down slowly backin apart..then the midget takes his inhaler out
and says this is not good for my heart,
Then james says bridget don't make me do this baby put the gun down...thats when Sylvester and Twon
busted up in the house... and says you put the gun down..whoo while Twon & Sylvester sniffen around...
tryina firgure out whats that smell...as they turn and look at each other like whaaat the...hell.....?

Part 11

Now the midget begain to wake up cause he fainted from all the maddest...he see 3 guns pointed around the room he stand and says I have nothing to do
with this...,then I said hold up you look familler..do I know you from somewhere?,then he says man i get around..you might know my face from here or there
''Then james says take a good look cause you might not ever see his face again...''
Twon says man what the hell is that smell? s-nnn...somebody then broke wind!and then bridget start cryin while she lookin around,I said I'm sure we can
work this out but first lets put the guns down...then bridget crys
"james first" then he said no you go!,then I say just do it the sametime and they both look at me and said no!
And then Twon says man let me shoot'em all, ''and I said we can't do that'' and beside man you just got out of prison and I'll be damn if you going
back...then bridget says "I'll would drop the gun if he promise not to hurt ''big man'',then james says thats what you call-em- (ahh)thats his name big
man! then Twon says man is that ya' name?he yells yea!we laught hot mess, then I say man why they call you that?and said ''because I'm bless''...
Then I start shakin my head put the gun down sayin this is to much for me!said I can't take no' more then heard it all this shit bout to drive me
crazy...and then I say man I shouldn't never took my ass to the par'jays club...
Then big man says par'jays..I been there that probally where you know me from,then james says hey hey Chuck and Rufus lets get back to the matter of
hand,then Sylvester says cool but first there just 1thing I gotta understand...james says ''whaaat''?,
Then Sylvester says how do you know Chuck and Rufus?and police says spss..what you talkin bout man?
You said Chuck and Rufus..then bridget says "hun my stomach" then Twon says who the hell is Chuck and Rufus?...pointed my gun and said talk to me
james..I said Rufus, Chuck? then bridget says "ima bout throw-up-"
James says my wife is sick..Twon says ''man don't believe that shit''... I said how did ya' wife get sick?...
He says she 3months pernacy!then we all said ooo shit!,
Then bridget says "honey thurrs something I have to tell ya",then james says no baby you don't have to say a word right now...then says "but
james"..then he says rest bridget while I get these fools up out my house...pointed the gun at us and yells leave...said my wife is sick..then Twon look
at him and said muthafucka you crazy..watch where you point that shit!...then bridget says "james nooo"...Sylvester gets a phone call...its Gwendolyn
askin him is everything ok...and he says hell naw! he hangs up.. then big man says look man I'm just a stripper... I say stripper?Twon says a midget... he
says I strip at this club called dixie and that is where I meet bridget...,Bridget says james he says not now..she says "hun please let me explain"...then
Twon whisper in my ear and says Sylvester let me do this nigga james...then Big man over hear us and takes his inhaler again..then I said I'm not killin no
cop...james movin closer to them with the gun..then bridget yellin stop,stop,stop and then she says "I admitted, I did it , I paid em'"...then james cuts
her off and says baby you don't have to say nothing...,then she says no "james I think you need to hear this"..."see I been coverin for you a long time..
never said what was on my mind...I even follow you a few times...and when I say you with her you act like I was blind"..james says wait a minute bridget
just what are you tryin tell me?..."not only I'm I sleepin with big man but hes my baby's daddy,...whoooo the midget faints again...while Twon in Sylvester
is trippin...the midget is the baby's.....daddy....whoo

Part 12

Now lets jump back to Cathy's house..they getting up off the floor...then Rufus says Chuck are you ok?
Then Cathy close the door..then Chucks says Rufus what the hell just happend?Rufus says I tell ya...
She just almost got us shot right here in this room...then Cathy says you got nerd almost got you shot when
you snicking en' and outta hotels with him aint tellin what I got...then Chucks says what do you mean by that?
Cathy looks at him and says firgure it out!...he says whooo Rufus she don't know me I'll would cut this female dog right now,Whoo!...Come and try it
muthafucka...I swear! just try it...fudge you hoe!I swear just try it! let me at uh..
Come on female dog!...try it..muthafucka Rufus let me go!....I swear the god try it...''Come On'',try it, female dog come on...
Come the fudge down!Rufus says...Rufus says Chuck with talk bout later...then Cathy says this shit is sad...
Then Rufus says it is what is Cathy we might'est well talk bout it...and try to get some understanding...she says understand shit.. I dout it...they
talkin loud while phones ringin,ringin,ringin,ringin but no one answer.... just ignores it.. Rufus says I said come down...you both actin like damn
fools!..wife and a pastor and a deccan now how would that look in the news? Cathy says a wife and pastor looks good on the news..then looks at Chuck and
says but a pastor and a deccan Rufus you don't wont me to ansnwer you...at then Chuck yells female dog who do you think you are? I got a right to love who ever
I please...then Cathy says if you don't get yo narrow ass out my house cause hoe this who ever belongs to me...and then Rufus nobody going no where...til'
we firgure this out we all just be right here...and then Cathy and Chuck wont stop stairing at each other...Cathy snocks..her nose up and him..Chucks
rolls his eyes at her...then phones rings again..(ringin,ringin,ringin) but this time
Cathy walks over and answer it..says hello longs resident...Cathy this Gwendolyn can you talk?Cathy says
im in the middle of something not now... Gwendolyn says girl this can't wait please get somewhere quick to yourself right now...then Cathy says hurry im
listen shoot...Gwen says ok..I'll make it quick girl remember the policemen you introduce me to?she says yea...what uh bout em'?anyway girl shit was tight
until this morning everthing went wrong! Chuck looks at Rufus and says what the hell? he says I don't know...she says damn'it I'm on the phone..
She says go hell Gwen...Gwen says well it all started at this club that I was at last night..(ummm)girl me and
james sittin up back vip everthing was so right (ummm gon' on)! well me and james sittin there laughten and drinkin next thing you know here comes
Sylvester up in there with some crusty wig wearing ass hoe...Cathy
looks at the wig on the floor she says girl whats the name of that club...Gwen says par'jays she flops down
on the bed...like what the fudge?then Cathy says Gwendolyn...Gwendolyn says girl I'm not finish then she start
tellin her bout the policemen wife Bridget who was gettin down with this midget...then Cathy says Gwendolyn
girl listen but Gwendolyn going on and on she steady tryin get her tension but Gwen steady going on and on
Then Rufus scream Cathy are we gon' finiish this conversation or what?and Cathy says Rufus I'm on the phone
Then Rufus says ''female dog I don't give a fuck''...then Cathy says Gwendolyn shut up girl damn..just listen to me
you know that crusty wearin hoe that you was talkin about...Gwen says uh uh..Cathy says well...Gwen says well..well what? Cathy says girl...Gwen says
Cathy...Cathy say Gwen I'm sorry girl but that hoe was me....

*At this point R KELLY's searching for more, and you can tell the story's falling apart, and it's not going as smoothly as he would like*

PART 13


Gwendolyn hangs up the phone!

As Cathy is about to go nuts...
Shaking and screaming
Crying,... Tear after tear...
As if Chuck and Rufus...
just suddenly disappeared.

And then Rufus says, "Kathy!"
"What the hell are you crying for!?"
She says, "Leave me alone Rufus!!!"
...Both you and Chuck, you can see the door!"

"My best friend and I aren't speaking...
...she thinks that I'm a slutty whore!"
Rufus says, "Psssh, with everything that you're pulling...!??!
...Kathy, I'm not surprised she called you a whoooore!"

Then Kathy says, "Wait a minute...
...you're my husband, and you suppose to be there for me!!!
...In your vows, your sweet words, loving me for me.
,,,I was so blind, but that's all I can seeeeeeeee!"

Then Chuck cuts in and says,
"Shit Rufus! This stunt, you expect us to believe this?
"She's a no good lying, cheating, wig wearing,...
club hoppin... sensitive bitchhhhh!"

Kathy points at the door and says,
"What! Get your gay ass out of my place!...
Before you stepped in,... Rufus and I
Our relationship was safffffffe."

Then Rufus says, "Safe!?!?!?
... Then explain what just happened in my home!
...Had I known you were sneakin and creapin'...
you would have been sad! And here all alone!

Chuck screams, "We're getting married
...and there's not a go*dam* thing you can do!...
"If you want to leave then fudge it! Pack!
...We will even hellllp you!?


Then Kathy starts to cry,
Bursts into tears and say, "You jerk!
Chuck looks possessed.
And then he starts to go BESERK!!!!

(tempo of music kicks up)

Chuck screams, "Bitch. Slut! Ho. Tramp!
Take your pick!!!!!!!?!!!
...Quite frankly standing here looking at you,
Shit! I'm starting to get... SICK AND TIRED OF ITTTT!!!"

"Rufus and I made plans!
...We're getting married at the end of the month!
...It was only a matter of time, before...
he showed your slutty ass to the dumps!"

She looks at Rufus and says,
"How could you do this to me!?"
He nods, "He's telling the truth!
"Now Kathy! Let me go!
I just want to be freee!"

Chuck screams, "You can pack your shit! Move female dog!...
Rufus and I are living here!!!!"
Rufus chimes in, looks at Chuck and say,
"Now look dear."

Kathy whimpers,
"But Rufus!!!!"

Then Chuck says
"RUFUS!!!"

She grabs his arm!...
He GRABS his arm!...

Rufus walks towards the door.

He let go of Kathy's Arm!

Kathy's on his left.
Chuck is on his RIGHT!!!

He looks at Chuck!
He looks at Kathy!

And says...
...
.....
.........

"I'm sorry babe..."

"...BUT!...


"I'm going back to my WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!"

[/b]

So far it's funny lalol

lol i can't imagine this as a song

It is.. THere are a LOT more parts to.. BUt I'm only going to post 1-22